I somehow foolishly hoped writing for a blog would help me to fulfil the cliché of ‘living in the moment’. Instead, whenever I’m tempted to post something it’s always about my thoughts for the future. I learnt from my travels through Thailand that I’ve got the typical western ‘monkey mind’. Thai Buddhism seeks to halt the constant swing of thoughts from past to future, instead to rest simply on the present. I guess this is all achieved through meditation and what not, but I can never seem to find the time for it. Perhaps that’s another typical western trait- a perceived scarcity of time.

Line made by walking- Richard Long

My levels of motivation have never been great. Although I hate the idea of being controlled and would rather believe I can achieve things independently, I seem to accomplish things more effectively under the eyes of a coach, a boss or a teacher. This goes for sport, school work, jobs, everything, really. How can I expect to somehow be my own boss if history tells me it doesn’t work out that way?

Until I sign up for a yoga class, I’ll never do it in my own time...

The worst thing about dreaming up the future is that I set expectations so high they inevitably crumble when the time rolls round. I need to source pleasure from the simple everyday moments, just like the french do. Because things are never as ideal as I want them to be. I need to savour the unexpected and the overlooked.